Goo goo ga ga. Today I woke up my mom by sitting on her head and jumping up and down. I figure she needs some stimulation to wake her up after I nursed from 4 to 5 a.m.
After breakfast, my hair smeared with muffin, I decided to fill my diaper. Satisfying! Because I know my mom likes to be really physically active, I made sure to writhe around and try to crawl away while she was changing me. I managed to get my foot in the poop. YAY! I bought myself some bath play time!
After my post bath naked run through the house, I settled down to rip the page out of a library book.
After that, I amused myself by climbing on the table while mom did dishes. She likes to challenge me, so she pulled all of the chairs away from the table. Pissed me off, but that mom of mine is always finding ways to further develop my problem solving skills. I just lined up the chairs until I could crawl over them and reach the table. I can't talk yet, but I think "Freak Child" is a high compliment.
11:30 a.m. Nap.
1:00 p.m. Lunch time. Spinach feta pockets would look great in my hair.
1:45 Bath number two of the day!
Time to play with (read: torture) my sister. I think I will wreck everything she is playing with. Muahahaha!
3:00 p.m. Mommy says its time to get out of the house. We go to a local playground where there is a beginner's play area and an advanced one (i.e. preschoolers area and big kid's equipment). I'm no fool...I belong on the advanced course. Nothing else can satisfy me!
5:00 p.m. Dinner. Mom cuts to the chase and feeds me in the tub. This is fun!! Peas can fit in my nose. Wild!
6:30. I fake my mom out by taking a long, late nap so she can't go to bed at a decent time. I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE! I'VE GOT TO BOOGIE!
8:00 p.m. Must give Daddy equal time. Attack. Pull hair. Squeal. Giggle. Look like adorable, easy to care for baby, thus giving Mommy the appearance of being completely unreasonable when she calls to say she's going apeshit.
9-11:30 p.m. Try to get into toilet. Climb into windowsill, fall out, cry. Get nursed (yeah!!). Take every tissue out of box. Try to eat. Take off diaper, pee on floor. Coo. Giggle.
I rule this place.
11:30 p.m. Nurse down for the night. I'm exhausted.
LAYER ONE
-- Name: Kym
-- Birth date: 12/06/1971
-- Birthplace: Andrews Air Force Base Hospital in D.C.
-- Current Location: Lancaster OH
-- Eye Color: Slate Blue
-- Hair Color: Red with blonde highlights
-- Height: 5’2”
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty. And damned tighty. Haha.
-- Zodiac Sign: Saggitarius
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Scotch/Irish (me too Madame Fab) with some German and Danish thrown in.
-- The shoes you wore today: black toe ring sandals
-- Your weakness: Telephones, the internet, Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake ice cream
-- Your fears: Being unloved and alone
-- Your perfect pizza: pesto, broccoli, mozzerella
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Not live my mother’s life, live out loud, raise happy kids.
LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on IM: LOL
-- Your thoughts first waking up: “What’s on the agenda?”
-- Your best physical feature: My shoulders
-- Your most missed memory: Having no worries.
LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: COKE!!! And my dad works for Pepsi!
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Neither. Barf.
-- Single or group dates: Either or. Group dates with the right people are a lot of fun. (I agree Tanya!)
-- Adidas or Nike: Ryka
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
-- Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE!
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I like both, but most days it’s coffee, double cream
LAYER FIVE:
Smoke: Not enough! Oh, you mean tobacco…nope, never liked the stuff.
-- Cuss: Hell yeah.
-- Sing: Every chance I get.
-- Take a shower everyday: Absolutely.
-- Do you think you've been in love: For certain.
-- Want to go to college: I wish I could redo college.
-- Like(d) high school: Yes.
-- Want to get married: Already there, with the best guy in the world!
-- Believe in yourself: A little more each day.
-- Get motion sickness: Not too badly.
-- Think you're attractive: Yes.
-- Think you're a health freak: No, I wish I would do better but I am lazy about cooking right.
-- Get along with your parent(s): Yes!
-- Like thunderstorms: To an extent. Tornados freak me out.
-- Play an instrument: Piano. In high school I played flute and oboe.
LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Yes and my vow is o shun the stuff from here on.
-- Smoked: No
-- Done a drug: No.
-- Made Out: MMMMM yes!
-- Gone on a date: Yes. Yes I have.
-- Gone to the mall?: I can’t imagine I haven’t been at the mall in a month, so ok yeah.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: no
-- Eaten sushi: No. Yucky.
-- Been on stage: Does Karaoke count?
-- Been dumped: nope
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: No.
-- Gone skinny dipping: nope.
-- Dyed your hair: Like, fer sure!
-- Stolen anything: Nope.
-- You sound boring: Yeah, ok.
LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.
-- If so, was it mixed company: Yes.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oh my yes.
-- Been caught "doing something": Yup. By my lil’ sister…LOL!
-- Been called a tease: That too.
-- Gotten beaten up: Yes, by a boyfriend. And by a mean girl at the Pomeroy parking lot.
-- Shoplifted: no!
-- Changed who you were to fit in: I have, but I don’t do that now.
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: I am married.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: Delaney-4.5 Greyson-15 months
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Eloping to a beach paradise.
-- How do you want to die: After shagging.
-- Where you want to go to college: Antioch College
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Ah, the ever evolving question….
-- What country would you most like to visit: I always thought Italy looked wonderful…
LAYER NINE
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? My favorite is deep brown…
-- Best hair color? Also dark
-- Short or long hair: I like both styles.
-- Height: taller than me
-- Best weight: whatever, man…
-- Best articles of clothing: Guys-boxer briefs. Girls-bustiers
-- Best first date location: The Gulf Drive Café in Bradenton, Florida. Ahhh….
-- Best first kiss location: Somewhere outside.
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: I plead the fifth…
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: Six
-- Number of CDs that I own: I haven’t counted…but a lot…
-- Number of piercings: None now.
-- Number of tattoos: None and probably never will get one. I get bored with my hairstyle, how could I choose a tat which would last forever.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?:Plenty.
-- Number of scars on my body: A lot but not as many as I’ve seen…
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: One is killing me, but I can live with most of them. The things I regret most are the times I’ve hurt people.
Its fascinating to me how things from one's past affect the rest of one's life. I see it in different friends and family members. It's almost like there are certain behaviors that just scream "I was abused" or "Nobody paid attention to me". I even can pinpoint innocuous behaviors which say "I was the oldest child in my family" or "My parents didn't make me do chores". Ya know what I mean? Identifying these quirks in onesself is much more difficult, I think, than noticing them in others. And once identified, what do you do then? Do you say "My past has made me this way?" Or do you choose to say "My past colors how I react, but ultimately I am in control of my reaction!"? That is a central focus for me. I don't want to simply say "This is the way I am" and let my flaws control me, ya know? It's hard work, but I know it can be done. Everyone is strong enough.
I have this fabulous support group online and in real life...thank you all. Thank you Gene, Katye, Nichole, Sarah, Kelly, Casey, Ann, Lynda, Cheryl, Tanya, Bonny, Diane, Marlanna, Bek, Sonya, Angela, Misty, Greta, Hugh, Trishy, Alice, Katherine and everyone who has been there for me. I'll never break your heart.
Kym 9:54 AM
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Tuesday, May 20, 2003
There are so many things that I am interested in, so many things I want to be. I want to write, I want to dance, I want to take vocal coaching, I want to try out acting sometime, I want to hold a women's self esteem conference, I want to learn gardening and plants, I want to become a massage therapist, I want to travel more, I want to mountain climb. Can I do all of these things and be a full time mom? I think yes. I am nudging myself on to DO THEM.
These were my results...what stone are YOU?
Kym 9:16 AM
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There was a bird in my house a minute ago. It scared the shit out of me!!
Kym 8:53 AM
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Friday, May 02, 2003
Update on the family situation-my step mom feels that I misconstrued all of her comments and made them sound worse than they were. She thinks I wanted to start a family war and doesn't want me in her house anymore. I am truly heartbroken that all this has happened, but I don't feel guilty for my part in the drama.
Life's been so busy, and it feels good. I feel a real sense of community here.
The closer I get to certain friends, though, the more scared I become. I find myself alternately confiding in friends, then pulling back. Too many times spurned, I guess. I hate being that way, but my heart gets broken WAY too often. I'd also rather do a million favors for someone and not let them do any for me. I hate feeling like I owe someone a favor or something. I'm so fucked up. I may never be normal.
Kym 10:41 AM
